Winter

the robins are looking very fat this time of year

and i think about how i'm bloated with potential 

i watch a pregnant woman rub her belly absentmindedly

while she talks, 

i think about how sometimes i want to crawl

back inside the warm red womb, 

i think about how that used to be a joke 

my mom made about me

how it was true because i carried

so much sadness in my tiny body that i just wanted

a warm place to sleep. 

 

i watch a couple take engagement photos 

she looks very beautiful and very cold in white satin

my dog follows behind me without a leash

and i sometimes want to get on my hands and knees

and dig myself up from the ground.

 

but i would find the coffin empty

and i never see robins in a flock 

and the way that i love is a radical act,

i feel replete with it but terrified to share

like a squirrel storing away nuts

scared of loss 

bracing a winter.